Game Night Returns!

MTL writes:

"Well it really touches me to know you all think of me when someones "pissed off" and threatening to stab someone to take the edge off. Looking forward to getting this rolling again.

As for this week, it seems to be new Mikes turn but if he is not going to make it I can come up with something. Let me know who's all in for this week and I look forward to some interesting new games.

As I know you are all wondering, spring break is awesome! I'm getting a blow job right now from some discount hooker where my third one is free. Also played this new game of Russian roulette where you pass around six bitches and one has genital warts. They say you don't feel them at the time.

So far I'm winning and with any luck I'll be home tomorrow."

No Game Night This Week!

Hope you all had fun at Morgan's Green Bash. I showed up pretty wasted as usual, but this time sporting some women's sunglasses. Someone should have really kicked my ass for that one. But whatever. They're my sunglasses now. What was with the whole balloon around bob's neck thing? And why was it 9cm's nuumber?

Due to Mike going on group spring break sponsored by Hydrate of Boystown, there will be no game night this week. There have been rumors floating around as to if there is going to be game night at another location, but they're just rumors at this point. If worst comes to worst, we can always gather down at the basement aka my bedroom, of my mother-in-law's house in Crystal Lake. Its great down there. I have cable. Just keep your drinks in the solo cups and we won't get caught.

What's going down this weekend? The wife is going to Florida for spring break. You know what that means! Yeah, the leash is now hanging on the coat rack. Time to party. Let's see what this ring can really do for me at the bars... I've got a great idea! Stripe club! Or are all you embarrassed to go with me? Don't worry, I won't mention the fetus tickler... or the spanking... or the shocker, rock shocker, spock shocker, shock and awe, or the (my personal favorite) shock you.

Peace out. Mike, I hope you don't come back with a VD in your bum. Or else Morgan will shoot it with a BB gun.

The Morning After...by Xbob

Well it was another banner game night. Congratulations to Looseholes for really stepping it up after “New Mike” dropped the ball this week. The on going love tiff between those two continues. The game of Risk with a 12 yr old scotch really brought some class to the evening despite having Tony in company. The long awaited return of Fritz was welcomed. Even though DP couldn’t be there his home land of Mongolia fought hard against the likes of 9cm, Mrs. Gasm, and Mr. Fattchik. Once again Adam was caught up in the dream of being the next American Idle and was unable to attend. “New Mike” has the game next week of Cosmopolitans and guessing what objects got logged up in Looseholes and had to be taken out at the Emergency Room. The possibilities are endless. Peace and see you all at Mrs. Gasm’s party tonight.

Its Game Night!

New Mike is bringing drinks. We need a nickname for this kid if he's going to be a regular, especially since we already have a Mike. Any thoughts? Get back to me.

In any case, he looks like that type of guy who'd bring something like slippery nipple shots or fuzzy navels. "Yeeeaaaaahhhhh! Let's get drunk and forget about what happened!" Its nothing personal, but think about it... he rolls with Looseholes. That sphinkter didn't get its reputation for being prude. Watch out for roofycoladas.

Well, on a lighter note, Morgan is having a Happy Irish Day party at his house tomorrow. He says that everyone is invited, but we all know what that means (WPO)...

Morgan: Don's coming up the stairs! This is a WPO event! Everyone quick, in the closets! Hide the alcohol!
Don: Yo yo yo! I came to par... hey. Where is everyone?
Morgan: Ummm... it was cancelled?
Don: Yeah right. I get it: WPO. Later dude. This place is dead anyway!
Morgan: He's gone! Party on! Hey! How'd that ... get in here!?!? Let's get him!
The ...: Ahhh! But I love John Cougar Melloncaaaaamp!

The Ultimate Shit Talker...

...is none other than Triumph the Insult Dog! Here are some of his best:

Triumph: What liquid was Han Solo frozen in?
Star Wars Fans: Carbonite!
Triumph: Oh, no, I'm sorry, the answer is, who gives a shit?

Darth Nerder: This would be my chest box that helps me to breathe
Triumph: And which of these buttons calls your parents to pick you up?

Triumph (at the Star Wars premere): Oh, is this a little Jedi? Your boy's due in two months? That'll be the last time he ever sees female genitalia!

Triumph: ...and what does your pretend girlfriend think about your Storm Trooper suit?

Triumph (at the Michael Jackson trial): On a scale of 1 to 10, how old is Michael Jackson's boyfriend?

Triumph (commenting on the television show American Idol): I ranked the contestants with three levels: gay, very gay, and Clay Aiken.

Who's the Idiot?

Its awkward to know that MTL takes pictures of me drunk and passed out. You could of at least put several empty 40 bottles in my hand...

If you've got embarassing photos you'd like me to post, send them here!

The Morning After...

Mixing Jim Beam and beer is never a good idea, but that's why we love to hate on Bob--who almost puked taking the first shot. Hmmm, you wonder why some chose to take beer bongs instead. He did offer a great prize for the person who scored highest on his Johnny Cash pop quiz. Mike took home a two DVD set featuring a live Johnny Cash concert and a documentary on Cash's life. Awesome. Way to redeem yourself from the case of lukewarm Leine cans you brought.

Looseholes did bring a new person, Mike, to game night. It made us re-evaluate the notion that he did not have any friends, but I think they were just aquaintences. Looseholes tends to make passes on people he likes to refer to as "friends." It just makes things awkward though, you know? Its wierd when we're just playing cards and he yells, "You lost that hand! You have to take your shirt off now! HAHAHA!" I mean, who says that to other dudes?

But all in all, it was a good 'ol time as usual. Except when I woke up the next morning to find MTL passed out on the bar with pizza sauce all over his face. And there was the largest empty pizza box I've ever seen just ripped up with knife holes all up in it. Apparently they fought over something. MTL vs. Pizza. For some reason, I don't know why, but I think MTL won.

Game Night Tonight!

MTL, you're so stupid you sold your car for gas money!

Tony, you're so stupid, you got stabbed in a shootout!

Looseholes, you're so stupid, you stared at the OJ carton because it said "concentrate"!